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10種你千萬別惹上身的危險女人 《前一篇 回他的日記本 後一篇》 男人如何擺脫未婚?
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篇名: 成人彩色笑話
作者: 金牛座的男人 日期: 2011.12.07  天氣:  心情:
成人彩色笑話


算命先生與小姐對白:「妳命不好。」「為什麼?」「因為妳身上帶有凶兆。」

「那我把胸罩脫了行嗎?」「不行,妳一脫了凶兆,就會出現人生的兩個大波。」


講課時女老師褲子拉鏈開了。一女生站起來提醒:老師,妳門沒關!

老師一擺手:不管它,一會兒教導主任要來參觀。


一對男女在親熱,男的十分賣力,女的卻毫無反應。男的生氣的問道:「妳就不能有點反應嗎?連床也不會叫!」女的聽後連忙大叫:「床!! 床!!」


父親帶兒子去洗澡,地很滑,兒子將要滑倒時一把抓住父親的那話兒才沒有倒下。

父親罵道:他媽的!幸虧和我來的,要是和你媽來非摔死你不可。


女郎買了香蕉,上公車後放後口袋,不時伸手往後抓。過了一陣,有位年青人拍拍她肩膀:小姐,請鬆手,我要下車了。


計劃生育部長下鄉普查,問老農:您知道近親為什麼不能結婚嗎?

老農憨厚的笑答:親戚嘛,呵呵呵呵呵呵......呵呵,太熟,不好下手!


螞蟻娶了蜈蚣為妻,洞房之夜後,問螞蟻有何感想。螞蟻憤憤的說:扳開一條腿不是,又扳開一條腿也不是......媽的!扳了一晚上的腿!


一農婦剛進城當保母,給主人收拾床時發現一用過避孕套,不知是何物,便問女主人。
 
女主人反問:你們不做愛嗎?農婦回答:做,但沒你們這瘋狂,都脫皮了。

美國人︰「你看過木頭做的杯子嗎?」
中國人︰「沒有!」
美國人︰「那為什麼你們中國字的『杯』是木字旁?」
中國人︰「『杯』字旁邊不是有個『不』字嗎!也就是說它不是木頭做的。」
 
 
 
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



【歷史故事】
小明吵著爸爸要他說歷史故事 ....
小明的爸爸:「好啦!從前從前有一隻烏龜 ... 」
小明:「這才不是歷史故事!我要聽歷史故事啦!」
小明的爸爸:「好啦!好啦!宋朝的時候,有一隻烏龜 .... 」
 

【可憐的被告】
法官看著被告,狐疑的問道:「我好像見過你?」
被告滿懷希望的抬起頭來回答道:「是的,您的太太就是我二十年前介紹給您認識的。」
[原來是你!」法官咬牙切齒的說:「判你有期徒刑二十年。」
 
 
【通婚】
妻子和丈夫吵了架以後,氣憤地說:「我就是找了一個魔鬼也比嫁給你強!」
丈夫立即回答:「你嫁不了魔鬼!法律規定,近親不准結婚 ....... 」
 
【牛皮]
一天,   老張到市場買牛皮,老張:「這個牛皮防水嗎?」
老闆:「廢話!你見過牛
在下雨天撐傘嗎?」




 


專門為富裕遊客服務的印度豪華列車
 




 
































































 

 

 


俄羅斯大型麵食工廠 包子餃子餛飩全都賣
 


 
Today we’ll visit a plant of prepared food “Siberian Gourmet” and examine all production stages from the mincemeat making till the packing of ready products and their delivery to storehouse. Besides meat dumplings the plant produces pancakes, cutlets and khinkali.



It is definitely necessary to wash your hands before entering production shops.
“Siberian Gourmet” takes leading positions from the Urals to the Far East in terms of volume of sold products in various price categories. The volume of production is up to 80 tons in a day, and 25 000 tons per year. Every day over 100,000 people buy ready products of the company and about 1,200 people work here. Production stages include control of all input raw materials, cooking, quality control of dough, filling, shaping, its intermediate control, freezing, packing…

The room for storage of flour. It keeps flour for the whole production, and there it is automatically sifted.

Pelmeni making lines Dominioni produce up to 25 tons of products per day. Flour is fed through a pipeline, then it is kneaded into dough by machines. The program of these machines has a variety of dough recipes, and operators watches proportions of ingredients.

An automatic truck distributes dough on all machines. Dough is rolled in layers, then a whole product is formed.

An operator of this line regularly checks meat fillings in pelmeni.

The finished product is sent by the line to chambers of spiral deep freezing. The temperature in the chambers is -30 — -32°C.

The line of handmade dumplings moulding produces about 10 tonnes per day. The task of workers is to form a dumpling manually: to make a joint and connect its ends.

Handmade ​​pelmeni are moulded of not hard dough and succulent meat.

After the freezing chamber products are carefully sorted, then only appropriate pelmeni are packed.


The next stage is a mulitidispenser, which separates and dispenses products.

After packing products are formed in boxes, then as quickly as possible sent to temporary storage in cold chambers. The finished product has a temperature above zero only for some minutes. This is done to preserve the appearance and quality of pelmeni.


+13 °C .



Khinkali are produced nearby.


Cutlets.


Packers.


The refrigeration and logistics terminal with the constant tempurature of -18 °C.

The storehouse.

Mince for pelmeni is made from 100% meat and soya is added only in cheap products for consumers’ money savings.





Frozen pork fat of European manufacturers, as well as all raw materials, undergoes a serious laboratory control.

Onion for mince.

Here all mince ingridients are mixed.

The plant has a unique for the Urals device – this fat analyzer from Germany.

The laboratory controls products quality.

All data are kept in computers.


Dough for pancakes.


The automatic system controls quantity of fillings.

Cheese and ham.


The production line produces pancakes with only one filling for a day. Next day – another filling.



Here special pancakes with sweet fillings are baked.


 
 
 
 





 

 

 

 

 

 

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給本文愛的鼓勵:  最新愛的鼓勵
10種你千萬別惹上身的危險女人 《前一篇 回他的日記本 後一篇》 男人如何擺脫未婚?
 
住戶回應
 
時間:2011-12-11 21:39
老兄去吧,我就知道老兄是魔羯的臥底來著.. [:6]
 
時間:2011-12-11 12:12
她, 54歲,南投縣,其他
*給你留了一則留言*
  
 
時間:2011-12-10 22:29
老兄如果堅持自己是固執的,請投靠到處女那邊去,因為土象裡面,
就次是處女最固執.. [:-x]
 
時間:2011-12-09 22:19
去~總而言之,金牛座也沒像老兄如此固執的啦,
這點阿星覺得老兄到像火象星座的,固執的不得了.. [:-x]
 
時間:2011-12-08 23:36
他, 63歲,台中市,經商
*給你留了一則留言*
  
 
時間:2011-12-07 22:51
老兄我就說吧,怎麼勸你都不聽,終於有人發難了.. [:-x]
 
時間:2011-12-07 19:54
她, 46歲,北京市,教育研究
*給你留了一則留言*
  
 
時間:2011-12-07 13:41
她, 57歲,台中市,家管
*給你留了一則留言*
  


給我們一個讚!